R-E-S-P-E-C-T...find out what it MEANS!!!

Part of living in New York is riding on the subway. The subways here are great for getting where you need to go efficiently and they are also eco-friendly. I use my subway time to relax, read, write, focus, wind down…at times the ride can be a nice short break from the madness above ground. The majority of the time, my subway ride is a fairly pleasant experience; however, riding the subway is not always enjoyable. Having a lot of people crammed into a small space, you can imagine that occasionally your ride will not be as satisfying as you had hoped. Over the past 12 years, so many things have happened to me on the train, I cannot begin to count them all. Many are rare occurrences like riding home during rush hour and having my butt groped by a fellow passenger, or sitting on an almost empty train mid-day and seeing the nasty-dirty-fat-guy across from me expose himself and begin masturbating, or coming home late on the weekends having some 20-something year old kid throw up everywhere on the train from partying too hard. These are somewhat odd and rare happenings that I can push from memory, but intentional rudeness I have a problem with.

Nothing bothers me more than people who have complete disregard for others. For example, talking loudly across the isle because instead of sitting in the seat next to the friend you’re traveling with, you sit across from them on the other side of the train and proceed to have a full-on conversation so everyone can hear…this is rude. I do not care to know what is going on in your life. I have enough stuff in my own life to deal with. I think the people who do this feel the need to validate the importance of their own lives, telling a story so loudly that everyone there will know some great thing that has happened to them so they can feel cool. Honestly, it just makes me think you are pathetic. Others just have no respect for anyone but themselves, which is apparent by their actions on the train. Some of these actions include nasty stuff, like spitting on the train floor, leaving garbage or newspapers everywhere instead of disposing them in a trash receptacle, clipping or filing your nails on the train, eating sunflower seeds and spitting the shells on the floor, smacking your gum so loudly that everyone around you wants to kill you…and lastly, listening to your music at such an incredible decibel that the entire car can hear every word to the song playing on your IPod.

I LOVE music…just NOT yours!!! And I do think that the IPod is one of the coolest inventions during my lifetime and I love listening to my own IPod on the train. It is a great way to block out the sounds of countless homeless people begging for cash, and all those rude people. Still, I know that I listen to my IPod at a level where I can hear everything, but not so loudly that it bleeds through the headphones for everyone else to hear. Not only does listening to your IPod too loudly cause deafness, it completely annoys everyone around you. No one else wants to hear your music…if we did, we’d be listening to our own! The same rule applies to car stereos.

I live in Washington Heights. It is a primarily Dominican neighborhood with a lot of families. Big hospital, lots of yummy tapas bars, they sell empanadas on the street, mangos and real live chickens…simple. Now, the children in the neighborhood have grown into high schoolers. Not old enough to go to clubs, not wanting to stay at home, these teenagers have nowhere else to go but hanging out on the street. Across the street from my bedroom window, the building has an alcove entry with a number of steps and proves to be a great hangout for these…teenagers. I would absolutely not mind them hanging out there at all – if they were respectful. In the summer these kids hang out, weekday or weekend, until 3, 4, sometimes 5 am blaring music out of their double parked cars so loudly that the thumping bass shakes my bedroom windows three floors up, partying, laughing, screaming, shouting, talking loudly…for hours. I was a teenager once. I used to go out, all carefree, and fun-loving, but in the back of mind, my parents had instilled in me virtues, like being respectful of others. I can’t completely blame these kids for their actions. I must also blame their parents for not caring enough to teach their children these things, for not caring enough to implement curfews, to teach them respect for themselves and others. I was raised differently. So, occasionally, when I need to get up at 9am to go into work the next day, I use tough love to try to send these kids a message by dialing 3-1-1 and asking the police to drop by and “remind” them that there are other people and families living around them that need to sleep. R-E-S-P-E-C-T find out what it means. Ahhhh…the sounds of silence!