I work at a busy Times Square Family Style Italian restaurant here in New York. It is my personal belief that every single person should be required to wait on people in a crappy diner as one of their first jobs in life, where they work their tail off and receive a quarter, or handful of pennies for their service. If this work experience were required, no one would ever be rude to their waiter again. In terms of waiting tables, which is never anyone's dream job, my restaurant is far better than others I've worked for, and being in the theatre district, we are much busier than other neighborhood restaurants, which pays the bills. However, in addition to the hours and hours of running around and constantly being on your feet all day which is physically draining (and the cause of my horrible varicose veins), the appallingly rude behavior of certain people you encounter on a daily basis is not only shocking, but mentally draining as well.
I grew up in Colorado. My father was in the Air Force. Growing up in my household we were taught to be respectful of others, things were either right or wrong, and we possessed a little thing called manners. This attribute may seem small, but it does wonders for a person's character, and is completely forgotten in the world today. When I was growing up, my mother would read to us from the newspaper. Some of her favorite articles to read were "Dear Abby" and "Miss Manners". These women were experts on etiquette and would offer advice on how their subject could properly deal with situations or relationships that were difficult in life, and come through with aplomb. Waiting tables in Times Square, and dealing with every culture imaginable, daily reminds me just how lacking on a global basis, we as a human race are in terms of manners. Being polite is so easy and so appreciated. A simple "please" or "thank you" or even a smile can brighten a person's day.
This is why I have made it my personal quest to teach others how to conduct themselves while going out to a restaurant. Observing people's behavior, most people were taught either the wrong way to behave going out, or they were not taught at all how to behave going out. These are easy fixes, and will assure you a much better dining experience when going out to your favorite establishment. In the coming months, whenever I notice some odd form of behavior, I will make note of it and explain the proper procedure of how to correct the situation. Let's start off with the basics.
Entering The Restaurant:
Let's start at the very beginning, because it is a very good place to start. When your party enters the restaurant, the first thing you do is approach the host desk. It is always best to have a reservation if they are accepted. Be accurate in terms of your reservation. Many people do not think of this. Subtracting people from your party is usually much easier than adding them. Calling ahead ensures that the restaurant can have your table ready and that they actually have space for you. Our restaurant is so busy before the Broadway shows begin, that we have NO EXTRA CHAIRS. If we are at capacity, we simply have absolutely no means of seating you if your party grows unexpectedly. Also, every single restaurant always overbooks their reservations. This is because there is always a certain percentage of customers that will rudely not call to cancel their reservation and just not show up. In order to make the highest profit, these slots are always overbooked. Also, establishments that have good staff can turn the tables faster, making more spaces available more quickly than the allotted time given for each average table to sit. If the patrons are waiting, the restaurant can have an additional seating, or "turn" of that table.
When you arrive, please be polite to the host at the front desk. Their jobs are very difficult and they usually get paid very little money to hear people scream at them all day long, because they had to wait an additional 15 minutes to be seated for their reservation. In our restaurant and in many others, parties are not seated until they are complete. This means everyone in your party must be accounted for before being seated. Make sure the people in your party arrive on time for your reservation or you may have to wait even longer, because another party who arrived sooner sits in the spot you were designated for. We have had patrons arrive an HOUR late for their reservation and still expect to be seated. This is ridiculous. Have the common courtesy to call and let the host know to ensure that we can accommodate you, as we release your reservation after a certain period of time if you are late. When the hostess seats you, please - SIT WHERE THEY SEAT YOU - if you complain about your table and want to be moved, we automatically immediately know that you are an asshole. Hostesses seat you in specific places for a reason. Each server has a designated section. Each section is seated in a particular order so as not to "slam" the waiter, which allows them to provide you with better service. Also, when the reservations are full, even though you may see an open table that you like better, there is usually another reservation slotted for that space, or it is being held to be built into a larger table. Things change very quickly, also, due to who is finished first. It is impossible to perfectly plan any seating arrangement of reservations. Some tables finish more quickly than others, making more space available so the entire floor shifts. It is a high stress job, please make it as easy on the host as you possibly can. "Thank you" works wonders in this situation. If you do have a specific request, most restaurants will try to honor it. Let them know at the time you make the reservation if you would like to be seated in the front or back, upstairs or downstairs, away from children, etc. They will always do their best to try to accommodate you.
Sitting In Your Chair:
Something so simple can make such a difference, and you would not believe how many people do not know how to properly sit in a chair. When sitting in a chair, make sure to place your rear towards the back of the seat, so your back can rest comfortably on the backrest. This makes you more compact. Restaurants are busy places and to make the most of profits, the maximum amount of tables are crammed into the smallest of spaces. Waiters are carrying trays filled with cocktails, food runners are carrying very heavy, hot platters filled with food, glasses break, things can burn you or land on your head, and it is imperative that we be able to get by you. Many people sit incorrectly in their chair. Most culprits are women and children. They will sit with their derriere propped on the front edge of the seat, so when eating, the entire back half of the chair juts out into the isle, making it impossible to get around you, and when serving, we have to lift hot platters of food over your head and place them in the center of the table. Our arms are only so long to do this. When your chair is jutted out into the furthest possible position, it makes it impossible for us to get the food on the table for you.
Body Positioning:
"Mabel, Mabel, If You're Able, Keep Your Elbows Off The Table"...
Listen, most people are exhausted after a hard days work, they're hungry and cranky, we get it. Honestly, just the elbows or a forearm on the table does not offend me; however, some people take this way too far. Some people shortly after they are seated, will shove their entire setting - glasses, silverware, bread plate and all forward towards the middle of the table, so they can rest their entire upper body across the table. This behavior tells us that you are a lazy, inconsiderate bastard, not to mention the fact that the busboy will be arriving any second to put bread in the exact same space you just shoved your entire setting into, and your waiter will not be able to reach your water glass to fill it, and when any of your food comes (us being a family style restaurant, we bring the food on platters to share and set it in the middle of the table instead of directly in front of you) we will have no space to fit it on the table. Also, when the waiter is moving around to serve you, be aware of them. If you are leaning on the table after your appetizer plates have been cleared and the waiter is trying to give you your dinner plate, lean back in your chair so they can put it front of you. Some people are completely oblivious to their waiter, or they just don't care. When we are coming in with hot food, be aware, lean a little so we can maneuver around you to get everything in a good position for you. It's simple awareness and common courtesy.
I've had people take their shoes off in the restaurant under the table on many occassions, primarily during the summer months. THIS IS NOT YOUR LIVING ROOM!!! It is a public dining establishment. This behavior is disgusting and dangerous. I've smelled people's nasty feet because they take their shoes off...how this can be appetizing to the others that are eating around you is beyond me. Also, things break all the time in restaurants. There is ALWAYS broken glass on the floors of restaurants. Carpets get swept with a broom, not vacuumed during the day, and unless one of the bus boys crawls under the table to get at every inch of floor with the broom, there is bound to be something under there that can lodge itself into your foot - not to mention, hideous parents that don't discipline their children (this is another blog all together) and let them run around like maniacs, crawling around under tables like they are a huge playtime fort or jungle-gym at the neighborhood McDonald's, their children can get glass in their hands, knees, feet, etc. Teach your children how to behave in a restaurant.
One last thing...YOUR NAPKIN GOES IN YOUR LAP!!! Be polite, put your napkin in your lap. When going out, it is a special occassion, have some respect. All it takes are simple manners.
