To Serve 002

I find it incredibly interesting that it seems the only time I am inspired to write here is when something in particular really ticks me off. I've been keeping a list. This blog, in actuality, is more like my own personal therapy to rid myself of my angst and release my own feelings of hatred towards others that I have to deal with on a regular basis. Thank God I have something!

It is no surprise, being a waitress here in New York City, that I see a wide variety of people from all walks of life on a daily basis and have the "joy" of serving them. I would say, on average, about one-third of the people that I wait on have no idea how to behave properly when they go out. This blog is dedicated to greeting the table, and how to order a drink.

What A Greeting:

It is important for us, as wait staff to establish a good rapport with the guest. We want to provide all of our guests with a friendly, relaxed atmosphere, a home away from home, where they can enjoy the comforts of enjoying a great bottle of wine and fabulous food. This feeling should begin the second you enter a restaurant. The hosts will give you a welcoming smile upon your entrance and seat you at a great table, which has been made to look lovely by our staff, the lights are low, the music creates the perfect ambiance, a beautiful night where you can be happy, relaxing and enjoying and appreciating that others will be cooking and cleaning up after your family tonight. Sheer bliss!

Your friendly waiter approaches the table, ready to explain in detail the scrumptious selections of specials the chef has prepared just for you that evening, that will make your mouth water, but first takes a moment to say hello to you:

Me: “Hello everyone. Welcome. How are you tonight?”

Response: “What’s in the Chicken Marsala?”

(sound of needle scratching across the record) To which I respond:

Me: “Let me try this again. HELLO everyone! How are you tonight?”

Seriously, can you just have enough common courtesy for one second to be polite enough to respond with a pleasant, “Hi, we’re fine, thank you”. All I ask is to be treated nicely, like a real person, before you start shouting orders at me. Or is that asking too much?

The Black Widow:

Last week I had a table of three lovely ladies dressed up for a fabulous night on the town. They looked just beautiful in their semi-formal, black attire. I immediately thought this was going to be a great table. (Sometimes, I can be wrong) These ladies looked ready to enjoy their evening and I was excited to get them some really nice food and drinks to start their night off.

For some reason, our owners have decided to use white as their signature color for the restaurant. The tablecloths and napkins are white, the waiters shirts and aprons are white. I always joke that they have obviously never had to do any laundry in their lives, or they would not have chosen this color – especially taking into account that their staff works with marinara sauce, balsamic vinegar, and red wine all day, and accidents are bound to occur to make a mess that cannot be camouflaged, and that only huge amounts of bleach can attempt to take away. Nevertheless, white is a signature, authentic Italian restaurant color that looks clean and crisp and professional, so we use it.  

I greet the ladies:

Me: “Hello, Ladies. Welcome. How are you tonight.”

Response: “Hi. Do you have any black napkins?”

I smile, thinking this is the first time I’ve gotten this strange request, and make a joke out of it, by saying that we are normally not in the habit of matching our linens to our patron’s wardrobes. The woman is not amused by this.

Response: “Well, this isn’t going to pill is it?”

Me: “No, Ma’am, it will not pill all over your outfit. Don’t worry, you’ll be fine.”

Seriously?...

Water Matters:

We have these people called “Secret Shoppers” in our restaurant. The owners hire these companies that send normal people, who are NOT in the food industry, out to dinner and then write up reports on their waiter. These are highly detailed accounts of their experience at the restaurant and the owners take these very seriously. We can be suspended or even fired if these reports are not good. It is like a grading system of our job performance, and we never know when these people are coming, how they look, it could be anyone. Everyone is accounted for and these people are required to do certain things. They are supposed to make a reservation and note the host’s responses and if they sound friendly on the phone. They are required to then call back and switch their reservation in some way and note the host’s response. They arrive early for their reservation and go to the bar. Everything is timed and accounted for down to minutes and seconds. They note how long it takes for the bartender to acknowledge their presence and get them their drink, how long it takes for them to be seated. The cleanliness of the restrooms, if a manager greeted them or was present on the floor. They write about their waiter in depth. We as wait staff are required to hit certain points of service, and if we do not hit every point that is required, it counts against us. We are SALES people. That is our job. First, I need to greet you in a friendly way. Then I must try to sell you the following:

Bottled water. I must mention that we have Sangria and Bellinis as our Specialty Cocktails, and mention a Specific Wine on the wine list. I must mention a Specific Appetizer, like our Calamari, I cannot just say, “Would you like an appetizer?”. I must tell you the Specials (of which we have many), I must mention Specific Sides of Vegetables (as everything is ala carte at our restaurant). I must later mention Specific Desserts, such as Tiramisu, I must mention types of Coffees, and I must mention Specific After-Dinner Drinks, such as Sambuca. As you can imagine, this is a lot of talking, but we are there to get our check average as high as possible. If we do this, the restaurant is happy because they make money, and hopefully you will have a higher check average and do the right thing, so we will make more money in tips, so it is a win-win situation.

Lately, I have been getting this response quite a bit:

Me: “Would you prefer bottled water today? Sparkling? Still? Or would you just like regular New York tap?”

(Our owners prefer we not even mention the word TAP, however, I have found such a large number of people are ignorant, or foreign, that they just cannot comprehend this, so to make everything clear, I mention it.)

Response: “It doesn’t matter.”

OH REALLY??? It doesn’t matter? So, I’ll just charge you $6.50 for the bottle of water and add that to your check. Better for me. But I already know that since you’re stupid, when you get the check, you’ll complain, saying you didn’t know that you actually had to pay for the bottle of water on the table, then I’ll have to get a manager, then they’ll take it off the check, then you’ll be embarrassed and that will tick you off, so to take out your frustrations, you’ll give me a crappy tip, because it was obviously MY fault that I didn’t explain it to you. And by the way, soda refills are not free here either! So, I take a deep breath…..and say:

Me: “Well, do you want to pay for your water today? Or do you want free water?”

How To Properly Order A Martini:

After we finally get your water order correct, it is time for adult beverages (of which, you can guess, I am highly in need of at this point). As you know, I have already given the customer the vast rundown of limitless selections at their disposal, so I ask them what they would like to drink. The gentleman responds:

“I’d like a martini.”

And…..I take another deep breath because I know that if that is all you’re going to say to me, that you are obviously NOT a professional drinker. I also already know that you will NOT be ordering another, as you will be completely inebriated after consuming this one drink, because you obviously so rarely order them that you do not know how to do it properly.

Nowadays, a martini is anything that is served in a martini glass, so there are limitless kinds of martinis available. Vodka martinis, Gin Martinis, Cosmos, French Martinis, Apple Martinis, Pomegranite Martinis, Chocolate Martinis, Espresso Martinis…the list is endless, so if you just say to me, “I’d like a martini”, I already know that you can’t handle it. And if you are ordering a Vodka or Gin martini, here are the rules:

1. Tell me if you like vodka or gin and which brand you prefer.

2. Tell me if you’d like it up or on the rocks

3. Tell me if you’d like it dry (which let’s the bartender know how much vermouth you’d like)

4. Tell me what garnish you prefer (olives, lemon twist, etc)

When I go out and order a martini, I know that I enjoy a Grey Goose Martini, up, with olives, and I like it dirty! I’m a professional…

Time Out!

Wow, Blog World!!! Well, as you can tell, I've taken quite a big hiatus from having a Life In The Big City! Where was I, you ask? I wrote and produced my own one woman cabaret show. Let me fill you in!

Living in New York, it is very easy to get wrapped up in the crazy hustle and bustle of the city. Everything here is so expensive that everyone puts in long hours at the office. For the past six and a half years, I have had three jobs. The first was being a realtor for the Manhattan division of Coldwell Banker Hunt Kennedy. I went to school at the New York Real Estate Institute, and the schools around here pump out over 150,000 realtors per year. Because there are so many of us it is very competitive and people usually only last 3 months and then quit. It is extremely easy to become a realtor and only cost me $310. I took two weeks of classes, and BAM! I was a realtor. I got a job with the help of a friend and with NO training was thrown into the trenches. We were pretty much left to fend for ourselves. About three years after I started, they finally began a training program for new people. I learned from eavesdropping on other people in the office, asking questions, and later, after my friend's business partner committed suicide (long story), I started working with him. Being a realtor is all about networking. You have to know people with money. I unfortunately, only know poor actors and waiters, and not a lot of them can afford to purchase an apartment here in the city where prices range about $1000/sqft. Also, they don't hang out with people who have money - double whammie! So, no rich people. Plus, we have these little things called coops, which make up about 70% of the market, and although they are cheaper per square foot, they require 25% down, plus an additional 2 years worth of mortgage and maintenance payments left over in the bank after closing, so you need about $105,000 to financially qualify for a closet sized $300,000 studio apartment here. It is insane. Also, the seller side gets 3% and the buyer side gets 3% of the commission, which is always paid by the seller. However, that 3%, really equals 1% - Coldwell Banker kept 6% of that 3% for desk fees, then some was taken out for insurance just in case I got sued, and then I made 55% of what was left. So, for every $1,000,000 of sales, I made about $10,000. The most money I ever made in one year of doing real estate was a little over $30,000. Being a realtor is just like acting and takes the same mentality. You put yourself out there, talk a lot, every day you try to show as many apartments as possible or go to as many auditions as possible, for that one big break, or that one big sale. ONE transaction or ONE casting could change your life - kind of like winning the lottery. But I never cashed in on either of those prizes. So - $30,000 - hardly enough to cover my rent alone, so I had to have another job - waiting tables, where I made more money working four days a week than spending countless HOURS of doing real estate. No one likes waiting tables, which is probably why I stayed with real estate for so long, praying that I'd end up super successful and could leave waiting tables forever. So for six and a half years, I worked between 60-80 hrs a week for practically no money, I am still single, because I have no social life, and have no health insurance - how depressing. I was miserable. Then after the mortgage crisis, New York was hit hard, and the end of May 2009 the Manhattan division of Coldwell Banker went out of business. So, I lost my job, then my real estate license expired the end of July. I haven't had the energy to renew it, especially with the market at record lows. So, suddenly, I had more free time and thought I should do something to bring me joy...singing!

So I started going to cabaret shows to see what they were like. I saw everything. Cabaret has its own little niche here in New York. The shows usually last an hour and tell a story through song. Sometimes they have themes, sometimes they pay tribute to certain artists or composers. They are a great way to hear new composers as well and are a great creative outlet. Not all cabaret shows are good, since anyone can do one, but most are really amazing...the artist pays for the show themselves, buys the music, pays their music director/pianist, their show director, their musicians, their backup singers, books the venue, does the publicity and advertisement...there is a long list of things to do and the artist never really makes any money from it - it is a labor of love. So, I wrote a show called The Book Of Love, in which I talk about my tragic love life. In the show I discuss past boyfriends, what I learned from those relationships, how hard it is to date in New York since there are over 210,820 more single women than men here, online dating sagas, etc. I sang songs by Queen, Billy Joel, Sheryl Crow, Dolly Parton, and others from the Great American Songbook. I had a full band and back up singers who made me feel like a rockstar! And along the way, something happened. I found something else that made me happy. And I met an entire new group of friends that are incredibly nice and super talented! What a thing to be thankful for. I have told people, out of all of that heartache - getting dumped by guys, losing my job, all of that yuckiness - something great came out of it - new friends and the joy of finding my voice again after all these years.

To Serve 001

I work at a busy Times Square Family Style Italian restaurant here in New York. It is my personal belief that every single person should be required to wait on people in a crappy diner as one of their first jobs in life, where they work their tail off and receive a quarter, or handful of pennies for their service. If this work experience were required, no one would ever be rude to their waiter again. In terms of waiting tables, which is never anyone's dream job, my restaurant is far better than others I've worked for, and being in the theatre district, we are much busier than other neighborhood restaurants, which pays the bills. However, in addition to the hours and hours of running around and constantly being on your feet all day which is physically draining (and the cause of my horrible varicose veins), the appallingly rude behavior of certain people you encounter on a daily basis is not only shocking, but mentally draining as well.

I grew up in Colorado. My father was in the Air Force. Growing up in my household we were taught to be respectful of others, things were either right or wrong, and we possessed a little thing called manners. This attribute may seem small, but it does wonders for a person's character, and is completely forgotten in the world today. When I was growing up, my mother would read to us from the newspaper. Some of her favorite articles to read were "Dear Abby" and "Miss Manners". These women were experts on etiquette and would offer advice on how their subject could properly deal with situations or relationships that were difficult in life, and come through with aplomb. Waiting tables in Times Square, and dealing with every culture imaginable, daily reminds me just how lacking on a global basis, we as a human race are in terms of manners. Being polite is so easy and so appreciated. A simple "please" or "thank you" or even a smile can brighten a person's day.

This is why I have made it my personal quest to teach others how to conduct themselves while going out to a restaurant. Observing people's behavior, most people were taught either the wrong way to behave going out, or they were not taught at all how to behave going out. These are easy fixes, and will assure you a much better dining experience when going out to your favorite establishment. In the coming months, whenever I notice some odd form of behavior, I will make note of it and explain the proper procedure of how to correct the situation. Let's start off with the basics.

Entering The Restaurant:

Let's start at the very beginning, because it is a very good place to start. When your party enters the restaurant, the first thing you do is approach the host desk. It is always best to have a reservation if they are accepted. Be accurate in terms of your reservation. Many people do not think of this. Subtracting people from your party is usually much easier than adding them. Calling ahead ensures that the restaurant can have your table ready and that they actually have space for you. Our restaurant is so busy before the Broadway shows begin, that we have NO EXTRA CHAIRS. If we are at capacity, we simply have absolutely no means of seating you if your party grows unexpectedly. Also, every single restaurant always overbooks their reservations. This is because there is always a certain percentage of customers that will rudely not call to cancel their reservation and just not show up. In order to make the highest profit, these slots are always overbooked. Also, establishments that have good staff can turn the tables faster, making more spaces available more quickly than the allotted time given for each average table to sit. If the patrons are waiting, the restaurant can have an additional seating, or "turn" of that table.

When you arrive, please be polite to the host at the front desk. Their jobs are very difficult and they usually get paid very little money to hear people scream at them all day long, because they had to wait an additional 15 minutes to be seated for their reservation. In our restaurant and in many others, parties are not seated until they are complete. This means everyone in your party must be accounted for before being seated. Make sure the people in your party arrive on time for your reservation or you may have to wait even longer, because another party who arrived sooner sits in the spot you were designated for. We have had patrons arrive an HOUR late for their reservation and still expect to be seated. This is ridiculous. Have the common courtesy to call and let the host know to ensure that we can accommodate you, as we release your reservation after a certain period of time if you are late. When the hostess seats you, please - SIT WHERE THEY SEAT YOU - if you complain about your table and want to be moved, we automatically immediately know that you are an asshole. Hostesses seat you in specific places for a reason. Each server has a designated section. Each section is seated in a particular order so as not to "slam" the waiter, which allows them to provide you with better service. Also, when the reservations are full, even though you may see an open table that you like better, there is usually another reservation slotted for that space, or it is being held to be built into a larger table. Things change very quickly, also, due to who is finished first. It is impossible to perfectly plan any seating arrangement of reservations. Some tables finish more quickly than others, making more space available so the entire floor shifts. It is a high stress job, please make it as easy on the host as you possibly can. "Thank you" works wonders in this situation. If you do have a specific request, most restaurants will try to honor it. Let them know at the time you make the reservation if you would like to be seated in the front or back, upstairs or downstairs, away from children, etc. They will always do their best to try to accommodate you.

Sitting In Your Chair:

Something so simple can make such a difference, and you would not believe how many people do not know how to properly sit in a chair. When sitting in a chair, make sure to place your rear towards the back of the seat, so your back can rest comfortably on the backrest. This makes you more compact. Restaurants are busy places and to make the most of profits, the maximum amount of tables are crammed into the smallest of spaces. Waiters are carrying trays filled with cocktails, food runners are carrying very heavy, hot platters filled with food, glasses break, things can burn you or land on your head, and it is imperative that we be able to get by you. Many people sit incorrectly in their chair. Most culprits are women and children. They will sit with their derriere propped on the front edge of the seat, so when eating, the entire back half of the chair juts out into the isle, making it impossible to get around you, and when serving, we have to lift hot platters of food over your head and place them in the center of the table. Our arms are only so long to do this. When your chair is jutted out into the furthest possible position, it makes it impossible for us to get the food on the table for you.

Body Positioning:

"Mabel, Mabel, If You're Able, Keep Your Elbows Off The Table"...

Listen, most people are exhausted after a hard days work, they're hungry and cranky, we get it. Honestly, just the elbows or a forearm on the table does not offend me; however, some people take this way too far. Some people shortly after they are seated, will shove their entire setting - glasses, silverware, bread plate and all forward towards the middle of the table, so they can rest their entire upper body across the table. This behavior tells us that you are a lazy, inconsiderate bastard, not to mention the fact that the busboy will be arriving any second to put bread in the exact same space you just shoved your entire setting into, and your waiter will not be able to reach your water glass to fill it, and when any of your food comes (us being a family style restaurant, we bring the food on platters to share and set it in the middle of the table instead of directly in front of you) we will have no space to fit it on the table. Also, when the waiter is moving around to serve you, be aware of them. If you are leaning on the table after your appetizer plates have been cleared and the waiter is trying to give you your dinner plate, lean back in your chair so they can put it front of you. Some people are completely oblivious to their waiter, or they just don't care. When we are coming in with hot food, be aware, lean a little so we can maneuver around you to get everything in a good position for you. It's simple awareness and common courtesy.

I've had people take their shoes off in the restaurant under the table on many occassions, primarily during the summer months. THIS IS NOT YOUR LIVING ROOM!!! It is a public dining establishment. This behavior is disgusting and dangerous. I've smelled people's nasty feet because they take their shoes off...how this can be appetizing to the others that are eating around you is beyond me. Also, things break all the time in restaurants. There is ALWAYS broken glass on the floors of restaurants. Carpets get swept with a broom, not vacuumed during the day, and unless one of the bus boys crawls under the table to get at every inch of floor with the broom, there is bound to be something under there that can lodge itself into your foot - not to mention, hideous parents that don't discipline their children (this is another blog all together) and let them run around like maniacs, crawling around under tables like they are a huge playtime fort or jungle-gym at the neighborhood McDonald's, their children can get glass in their hands, knees, feet, etc. Teach your children how to behave in a restaurant.

One last thing...YOUR NAPKIN GOES IN YOUR LAP!!! Be polite, put your napkin in your lap. When going out, it is a special occassion, have some respect. All it takes are simple manners.

The Elders

The definition of an ELDER is “a leader, one having authority by virtue of age and experience, a person valued for their wisdom.”

In the past, people from various cultures would go to their elders asking for guidance, inspiration, or to obtain knowledge. The Indians did this. African cultures would do this. Asian countries highly value their elders. Somewhere along the way we, as Americans, have forgotten this. We value youth over age. We do not respect the old ways of thought. We do not respect each other. We think only of ourselves. We don't care about other's needs. I believe this method of thought is leading to the degradation of our society.

I have recently learned of a group called THE ELDERS. In 1948, after World War II, the Holocaust, and Hiroshima at a time when the world had reached a horrific low in terms of humanity, a group led by Eleanor Roosevelt wrote a Universal Declaration of Human Rights which was implemented by the United Nations. This was a visionary guideline of humanitarian consciousness meant for the world to follow. You can read this declaration, sign the petition, and receive email notifications regarding global humanitarian efforts at www.everyhumanhasrights.org.

In 2008, 60 years later and at another time of global unrest, Nelson Mandela started a group called THE ELDERS. This is a select assemblage of seasoned political figures who no longer have constituencies to please, lobbies to influence them, or religious organizations to satisfy, they can speak freely and of their own accord in support of a worldly cry for humanity. They oppose slavery and torture, they support the rights of women and minorities, and they strive for world peace. You can view an introduction to THE ELDERS below:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8yb8f_tudDI

The elders include:

Kofi Ahnan

Ela Bhatt

Lakhdar Brahimi

Gro Brundtland

Fernando H. Cardoso

Jimmy Carter

Graca Machel

Mary Robinson

Desmond Tutu

Muhammad Yunus

Honorary Elders include:

Nelson Mandela

Aung San Suu Kyi

The Elders are leading the way in support of equal rights for every human being. They inspirationally speak out for freedom from fear and harm, for children's education, for healthcare, and for minorities. They think it is wrong for us to spend astronomical amounts of our dollars on defense, when a small percentage of that money could be used to clothe and feed people, and provide clean drinking water and basic needs for every human on our planet. I believe this is the right thing to do - it is an investment in our society, it provides avenues for us to grow and prosper as a global community, and that any person who would oppose this way of thought is focusing primarily on greed.

In addition, I believe that conservative, right wing, religious right "Christians", if they really did look at their Bible, would agree that this way of thought is what God would want us to do. However, these same people seem to oppose entirely this way of thought. This boggles my mind! They say they support "family values" and tithe at church, yet they don't want their taxes raised to provide funding for anything including our children's educational systems. They speak out against Obama speaking to our youth in schools (George Bush did this when he took office) to inspire them to work hard so they can succeed in life - so they're supporting censorship and opposing freedom of speech. They oppose abortion supporting it with God's commandment of "Thou shalt not kill" yet they are for the right to bear arms and support Bush's war. They compare Obama to Hitler and oppose health insurance reform and spread lies about "death panels" allowing politicians influenced by corporate insurance lobbyists to promote fear among citizens so health care reform is not passed. These hypocritical viewpoints drive me to the breaking point. In all honesty, I believe that if you really are religious, then you really would be a democrat - democrats have instituted virtually every means of governmental assistance to the poor and to minorities alike. After The Great Depression, Franklin D. Roosevelt (famous for the quote, "We have nothing to fear but fear itself.") implemented social security and welfare to assist the poor. Lyndon B. Johnson began The Great Society, whose purpose was to eliminate poverty and racial injustice. He also implemented medicare and medicaid, forms of "socialized medicine". These pugnacious republican leaders support the contentious dispositions of far-right media moguls like Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck who spread lies and hate and rile up belligerent townhall citizens to badger speakers at events meant to inform and answer questions the public has regarding these issues, yet so much heckling is being done, we're no longer listening to the issues at hand. Instead of getting anything productive done, we're all whining like 3 year olds.

One of my friends who was attending NYU Law School once told me that he had learned that in order for government to function, there cannot be chaos. The masses must function like "sheep" to follow a certain way of thought. (Interesting that congregations refer to their followers as sheep as well, huh?) The dumbing down of our society has allowed this form of government to thrive. Where are the intelligent media personalities to question this type of authority and its practices? They are more concerned with entertainment than facts. And more importantly, why are the moderate republicans allowing this type of behavior to continue? Why don't they speak out? Why doesn't one of them take the reins and stand up to the radical crazy people in their party, and work towards good for the people? They could contribute to saving the face of their party. That is someone I could respect. I guess it is due to the fact that these fear tactics work on so many people - they know that it works, so they let it continue, so they can passively institute their own agendas. What a sad state of affairs.

I believe we need the knowledge from The Elders now more than ever. I've always had a strong connection and interest in old Indian cultures. I find this Hopi Indian Elder's account of an ancient world prophecy to be interesting:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g7cylfQtkDg

Hopefully, we will be smart enough to change and focus on getting things done for the good of our world and all of it's people as a whole.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T...find out what it MEANS!!!

Part of living in New York is riding on the subway. The subways here are great for getting where you need to go efficiently and they are also eco-friendly. I use my subway time to relax, read, write, focus, wind down…at times the ride can be a nice short break from the madness above ground. The majority of the time, my subway ride is a fairly pleasant experience; however, riding the subway is not always enjoyable. Having a lot of people crammed into a small space, you can imagine that occasionally your ride will not be as satisfying as you had hoped. Over the past 12 years, so many things have happened to me on the train, I cannot begin to count them all. Many are rare occurrences like riding home during rush hour and having my butt groped by a fellow passenger, or sitting on an almost empty train mid-day and seeing the nasty-dirty-fat-guy across from me expose himself and begin masturbating, or coming home late on the weekends having some 20-something year old kid throw up everywhere on the train from partying too hard. These are somewhat odd and rare happenings that I can push from memory, but intentional rudeness I have a problem with.

Nothing bothers me more than people who have complete disregard for others. For example, talking loudly across the isle because instead of sitting in the seat next to the friend you’re traveling with, you sit across from them on the other side of the train and proceed to have a full-on conversation so everyone can hear…this is rude. I do not care to know what is going on in your life. I have enough stuff in my own life to deal with. I think the people who do this feel the need to validate the importance of their own lives, telling a story so loudly that everyone there will know some great thing that has happened to them so they can feel cool. Honestly, it just makes me think you are pathetic. Others just have no respect for anyone but themselves, which is apparent by their actions on the train. Some of these actions include nasty stuff, like spitting on the train floor, leaving garbage or newspapers everywhere instead of disposing them in a trash receptacle, clipping or filing your nails on the train, eating sunflower seeds and spitting the shells on the floor, smacking your gum so loudly that everyone around you wants to kill you…and lastly, listening to your music at such an incredible decibel that the entire car can hear every word to the song playing on your IPod.

I LOVE music…just NOT yours!!! And I do think that the IPod is one of the coolest inventions during my lifetime and I love listening to my own IPod on the train. It is a great way to block out the sounds of countless homeless people begging for cash, and all those rude people. Still, I know that I listen to my IPod at a level where I can hear everything, but not so loudly that it bleeds through the headphones for everyone else to hear. Not only does listening to your IPod too loudly cause deafness, it completely annoys everyone around you. No one else wants to hear your music…if we did, we’d be listening to our own! The same rule applies to car stereos.

I live in Washington Heights. It is a primarily Dominican neighborhood with a lot of families. Big hospital, lots of yummy tapas bars, they sell empanadas on the street, mangos and real live chickens…simple. Now, the children in the neighborhood have grown into high schoolers. Not old enough to go to clubs, not wanting to stay at home, these teenagers have nowhere else to go but hanging out on the street. Across the street from my bedroom window, the building has an alcove entry with a number of steps and proves to be a great hangout for these…teenagers. I would absolutely not mind them hanging out there at all – if they were respectful. In the summer these kids hang out, weekday or weekend, until 3, 4, sometimes 5 am blaring music out of their double parked cars so loudly that the thumping bass shakes my bedroom windows three floors up, partying, laughing, screaming, shouting, talking loudly…for hours. I was a teenager once. I used to go out, all carefree, and fun-loving, but in the back of mind, my parents had instilled in me virtues, like being respectful of others. I can’t completely blame these kids for their actions. I must also blame their parents for not caring enough to teach their children these things, for not caring enough to implement curfews, to teach them respect for themselves and others. I was raised differently. So, occasionally, when I need to get up at 9am to go into work the next day, I use tough love to try to send these kids a message by dialing 3-1-1 and asking the police to drop by and “remind” them that there are other people and families living around them that need to sleep. R-E-S-P-E-C-T find out what it means. Ahhhh…the sounds of silence!

Fashion Faux Pas

I am not a fashion expert. I did not go to F.I.T., I am not a perfect size 2, and I do not have the incredible influx of cash required to obtain the latest in designer attire; however, there are just a few things I have got to say about today’s fashion.

Anyone who knows me is aware that I do not care for Rap music. I am a singer. I like to have a beautiful melody to sing along with. In fact, I do not classify Rap as “music” at all, because the majority of these rappers have no real musical ability. They “steal” songs from other real musicians, and then add their “lyric talking” above it. All that is required is good timing and rhythm. I also do not care for the use of the “N” word by anyone, including African Americans, because I feel it degrades them as a culture and promotes racism. I do not care to hear curse words slung at me in my music, nor do I “enjoyably” listen to the female degrading, violent, or sexual nature of the lyrics in general. I say all this knowing that I am not a prude and that I do, in fact, use curse words in my vocabulary on a fairly regular basis. I choose subtlety over these things being thrown in my face. This is my personal preference. But there is one thing above all else in particular that this “gangsta” mentality has forced upon me that I just cannot stand, and that is their fashion sense.

I love men. I also appreciate looking at them. And there are certain attributes to a man that I “check out” on a regular basis when one happens to walk by – one thing being his “bootie”. Nonetheless, I prefer to see a man’s ass IN HIS PANTS rather than above them. Leave something to the imagination for crying out loud! First of all, it must be so incredibly uncomfortable walking with your pants halfway down your legs! One day, I imagine these people will come down with the “gansta-pants” infliction, or Rappantalitis, where because they had to walk with their legs so far apart to keep their pants up, their bodies have morphed into bow-legged beings that suffer from some freakish arthritic or musculature pain that cripples them later in life. Secondly, the only other thing besides their legs holding up their pants, is their penis, and why on earth would they want to risk possible injury or deformation to this organ which could deny them experiencing incredible amounts of pleasure in the future? Not to mention the fact that the only thing covering the actual groin area is a thin layer of boxer shorts, incredibly cold in the winter months, causing shrinkage, which makes the pants fall down even more and could in turn lead to frost bite. Also, if they frequently ride the subway and sit in the germ infested seats, the only protection to the anal region from those bacteria is a thin layer of breathable underwear fabric, hardly enough to protect one from the hazards of infection. Why chance it? Not only do you look like an idiot, you risk bodily harm.

On the other hand, women are not immune to this type of poor fashion sense either. These “brainiacs” Britney Spears and Paris Hilton have contributed to our little female preteens turning into slutty looking schoolgirls that pedophiles must be going nuts over. Thankfully, women’s fashion evolves much faster than it does for men, so the low-rise pants craze will be going out of style much sooner than our male counterparts. These low-rise pants only seem to look good on you if you are a preteen, right after you’ve gone through an incredible growth spurt and haven’t hit puberty yet to begin acquiring belly fat or a “muffin-top”. Unfortunately, this style only looks good on supermodels in catalogs. Older women should NOT be wearing these pants. I cannot tell you how many times one of these unsuspecting women has sat at a table in the restaurant, only to have these pants ride halfway down her bum, colorful thong tackily sticking out a good 2 inches above the top of her pants, “plumbers-crack” hanging out for the world to see. This can stop traffic in a bad, whore-y type way. It is not pretty!

One more thing…flip-flops. I’m from Colorado, a clean, nature conscious land of fresh mountain air, with a ton of hippies, or “Granolas” as we call them, that love to live in their Birkenstocks. Here, I think it is perfectly fine to wear flip-flops on a regular basis. I’ve also lived in Florida, and in these warm beach towns where it is spring break all the time and people live in their bathing suits, I also find it perfectly acceptable to wear flip-flops out and about. New York is a different story. In New York, wearing flip-flops grosses me out. New York is an amazing city, but it is filthy. There is a huge amount of people crammed into an incredibly small amount of space. We produce a lot of garbage. Unlike other big cities like Chicago for example, there just seems to be more disgusting mystery crap on our sidewalks. Chicago has back alleyways, so they haul their garbage out behind their buildings and their sidewalks remain fairly clean. New York does not have back alleyways, so all of our garbage is hauled out onto the sidewalks in front of our buildings. All of this disgusting, germ infested, oozy crap is laid out in front of our buildings for us to walk through. Any New Yorker has experienced at different times, in various areas throughout the city, on a hot but humid summer day, the stench that sometimes emanates from our city streets, which comes closest to a combination of rotting garbage, vomit, and urine. Just being able to identify the components of this smell should give one pause when deciding which shoes to wear when walking out into it. Speaking of, the myth that every woman in New York wears fabulous Manolo Blahnik shoes like Sarah Jessica Parker in “Sex And The City” is just that – a myth! No woman can actually wear amazing, gorgeous shoes here. New Yorkers walk everywhere and fabulous shoes not only rip your feet apart, but also wear the heels down to the nub walking down our city streets, plus the amount of grates, potholes and cracks in our sidewalks are extremely dangerous! You wear your sneakers and when you get to your destination, you change. It’s either that, or you hire a car service to drive you everywhere so you don’t actually have to walk at all. Being on your feet all the time, comfortable shoes are very important. And hey - I may not be the best dressed in this town, but I do care about hygiene!

Health Insurance 101

Sometimes I feel I am surrounded by complete morons. Do you ever feel this way, or is it just me? I am an actor and a singer; however, I do not like to tell people this because it has a stigma attached to it - the stigma of being ego-driven, of actors only thinking of themselves and how they can get ahead. I dislike this viewpoint of my profession, even though I can see that a large majority of my associates fall prey to this way of thinking. The job is so competitive that you have to make yourself stand out from the masses - kind of like a politician. Like a politician, we are continuously lobbying for ourselves to get that next job. Like a politician, we talk about ourselves a lot and about what we've accomplished, to get people to like us and think we're great, so we can get that next big job. It's the same type of job. (Real Estate is also the same job, but that's for another blog.) Of course not all actors or politicians are like this. Some actors just do everything for the love of the art. Some politicians do things for the good of the people. If we are smart, we have the latter viewpoint. If we are smart, we realize that life is about so much more than just ourselves. If we are smart, we think of things based on the good of humanity, the good of our world, the benefit for all. Politically, I believe this is the way the majority of New Yorkers think. New York is a melting pot. Just walking down the street, you can see people from all ethnicities, and hear every language spoken. We are a global city. We think internationally. This is good. This is how I believe it should be.

Most actors do not have health insurance. First of all, the majority of us are never employed as an actor long enough to fulfill the required number of weeks during a year that are necessary to qualify for our Actor's Equity Association (the actor's union) medical coverage. Secondly, the majority of us, while we are not working as an actor, have odd jobs which are consistently not high paying and are primarily freelance, and cannot afford to obtain health insurance. I fall into a pocket. The cost of living in New York is high. I must work a certain number of hours and make a certain amount of money to pay my bills. Just to pay my monthly living expenses, I must make more money to survive than the cut off for low-income health insurance, but I do not make enough money to afford to purchase health insurance for myself. Anyone making the maximum monetary cut-off amount to qualify for low income health insurance here in New York would either be homeless, or be illegally inhabiting a small studio apartment with far more than the allotted legal number of residents. I have also been sick for the first time in my adult life this year. More than just a cold sick - sick. I've been regularly going to a low income walk-in health care clinic that is so busy that the staff there simply cannot keep up with everyone, and where it takes me a minimum of two months just to be seen and book an appointment with a doctor. They cannot possibly give quality care. This is why I am passionate about health insurance - because I need it. I need it badly. This is why I am so angry with what I see everyday on tv. I'm angry with the insurance companies for paying people to go to the town hall meetings and stirring things up, because they like stealing all of our money. I'm angry at the republicans, who spread lies and use fear tactics to persuade people not to support something this important for the good of all people in our country. They do not want our President to succeed. This would ruin their chances of being elected again in 2012. I recently read an article in which the journalist wrote of the speech he wished President Obama to say to the American people. Here is an excerpt from this article:

"The real debate is about what kind of country we want to live in. I ask all Americans, whatever your political leanings, whatever your profession, whatever your income, to ask yourself these fundamental questions. Do you want to live in a country where almost 50 million of your fellow Americans are without health insurance? Do you want to live in a country where 20,000 people a year die of preventable or curable illnesses because they don’t have access to adequate health care? Do you want to live in a country where 2 million people a year go bankrupt because of medical costs, where 1.5 million homes are foreclosed because people have run out of money paying for medical care, where if you lose your job you lose your health insurance, a country where you can be denied health insurance because you have a pre-existing medical condition? A country where a sudden illness can destroy your economic future, even if you have a job and health insurance?

If you find those conditions acceptable, then we need do nothing, because that’s the country you live in now. Alone in the industrialized world, America, the wealthiest nation on earth, is the only country which allows these things to happen. Our current system of health care is broken, fatally broken, and when I took the job as President, I made it my first priority to fix it. I do not, I cannot believe, that Americans want the status quo to continue." ~ written by Ed Stein. INDenver Times

The first job I ever had during my high school years was working as a secretary in the radiology department of our local hospital. I answered phones, scheduled appointments, greeted people in the waiting room, did a lot of filing of charts and x-rays, assisted when and wherever necessary. I remember one night in particular. It was a full moon, when people go crazy and emergency rooms are packed much more than usual. A woman from the nursing home down the street was wheeled into the hallway on a gurney. She had fallen and broken her hip. The ER was completely backed up with much more serious injuries due to a big car accident that had taken place, so as a matter of priority those people needed to be attended to first. The old woman was kept waiting in the hallway for over an hour, screaming, calling out to her mother to help her, writhing in pain. No one could come to her aid. It was after hearing her screams of pain for that hour that I made the decision that I could never work in the health care industry. I cannot stand to see people in pain. Now I know that the health care industry must deal with so much more than just helping people. Isn't this a shame? Doctors and nurses get into their fields because they want to help people. The insurance industry contributes to them not being able to do their jobs. People should not have to suffer. They should not have to file mountains of paperwork during these extremely difficult times in their lives. It is up to us to help ease these people's suffering.

So, to these morons who shout that these are the beginnings of us becoming a "socialist" nation, I say - BRING IT ON! Canada has an amazing health care system - maybe we should actually use our brains and borrow a great idea from another nation where things actually work! Didn't everyone see the movie "SICKO"? Let's pool our resources here to fix what is broken. Let's actually use our brains for a change for the good of our country instead of corporate greed! And another thing that boggles my mind is that the greedy republican base is primarily "Christian". I've got a newsflash for these people...Jesus would be a Democrat! Jesus would help the poor, he'd be sympathetic to those who are suffering, he would heal the sick. This entire "Health Care Debate" has NOTHING to do with actual health care - it is just the ugly part of POLITICS. The ego-driven republicans want Obama to fail so they can be re-elected. The ego-driven republicans support big business, so they are doing everything in their power to keep the status quo so these powerful insurance conglomerates and prescription drug companies can continue raping Americans when they need help the most. Seriously, what are we thinking? After the past 8 years of the Bush administration running our country into the ground - what's another billion dollars added to the deficit for the good of our own people, after spending trillions on a failed war overseas? If we're going to spend it, we might as well spend it on the good of our people here at home. We've become so lazy here, fat and lazy, living the "good" life, watching our DVR shows, playing our video games, collecting all of our toys, living in our sheltered, primarily white small towns, that we fail to educate ourselves. We are too busy with OUR lives and OUR stuff that we fail to take into account the needs of others, the needs of all people from all walks of life, no matter their ethnicity or economic status. WE FAIL. We're failing now if we allow this type of politics to continue. Health care is something that you never think about until you need it. And if we don't fix it now, it is just going to get worse. I just hope, for the good of humanity, that we do not allow our failure to succeed.